Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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