It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
