I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize