i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
