Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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