Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.