Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
