Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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