Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
