i barfeds in our rink
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Houston, we have a squirter
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
