You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
