Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Every concussion has its silver lining
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
