Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
