Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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