can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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