let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
