i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
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