Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
