I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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