I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
