i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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