I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
