Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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