his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
