He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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