I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize