woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
