I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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