my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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