This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
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How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
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Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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