So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Pooping to opera.
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