God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
