Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
