Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
