p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
