pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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