in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
there was a trapeze. enough said
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
