She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
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