Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
50% drunk capacity currently
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
