Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
