They should really pass out barf bags in church
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
