I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she looked like the before picture.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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