I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
