we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
MIDGETS
????
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
