She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
