I must be too annoying 4 u.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
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