In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
