Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
