Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Boobs speak an international language.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.