how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.