Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.