Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...

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  (440): that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water... http://tfl.nu/dw5a
  Replies (12) Good night (631) Bad night (4121)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?

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  (703): is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon? http://tfl.nu/fld0
  Replies (66) Good night (7194) Bad night (1632)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later

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  (606): you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later http://tfl.nu/ipo7
  Replies (26) Good night (1937) Bad night (4918)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.

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  (412): Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record. http://tfl.nu/e6sm
  Replies (8) Good night (4779) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve

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  (580): Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve http://tfl.nu/obez
  Replies (20) Good night (5280) Bad night (1546)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?

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  (843): I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome? http://tfl.nu/1lt0
  Replies (23) Good night (1433) Bad night (6942)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon

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  (416): I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon http://tfl.nu/5ghl
  Replies (23) Good night (7493) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me

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  (310): Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me http://tfl.nu/0v3x
  Replies (7) Good night (1554) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.

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  (517): Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B. http://tfl.nu/djpk
  Replies (12) Good night (2661) Bad night (1403)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.

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  (714): You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world. http://tfl.nu/6m84
  Replies (15) Good night (3636) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.

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  (613): How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me. http://tfl.nu/pw4l
  Replies (8) Good night (1713) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.

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  (720): my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am. http://tfl.nu/xw8k
  Replies (8) Good night (1408) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  You're so romantic.

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  (406): I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you. (1-406): You're so romantic. http://tfl.nu/mrz2
  Replies (2) Good night (1068) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.

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  (623): It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that. http://tfl.nu/i8dz
  Replies (5) Good night (710) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.

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  (805): I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever. http://tfl.nu/ftkt
  Replies (1) Good night (303) Bad night (240)

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