well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join