What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
