Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
