we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
