You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
