Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
