WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My balls are so social today.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize