I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
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While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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