We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
