Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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