Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I look better un-naked...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
