He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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